Jerome K. Jerome «Three men in a boat» — Ch. III (2/9)
@english_frankДжером К. Джером «Трое в лодке, не считая собаки» — Глава III
"Now you go and get me my hammer, Will (иди и возьми мне молоток, Вилли)," he would shout (кричит он); "and you bring me the rule, Tom (а ты принеси мне линейку, Том); and I shall want the step-ladder (мне понадобится стремянка; step-ladder: step — шаг; ladder — лестница), and I had better have a kitchen-chair, too (и мне бы лучше/я бы предпочел = мне понадобится также и кухонный стул); and, Jim! you run round to Mr. Goggles, and tell him (Джим, сбегай к мистеру Гогглсу и скажи ему), `Pa's kind regards, and hopes his leg's better (папины добрые пожелания = папа вам кланяется и надеется, /что/ ваша нога получше; pa = papa; kind regards — добрые, лучшие пожелания; regards — привет, поклон; пожелания); and will he lend him his spirit-level (и не одолжите ли ему ваш ватерпас/уровень)?' And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light (не уходи, Мария, поскольку мне может понадобиться кто-нибудь, чтобы подержать свечу = посветить; light — свет; свеча, огонь, фонарь); and when the girl comes back, she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord (а когда горничная вернется, ей придется снова сходить за веревкой для картины; cord — веревка, шнур/ок/); and Tom! — where's Tom (где Том)? — Tom, you come here (Том, иди сюда); I shall want you to hand me up the picture (ты мне понадобишься, чтобы подать картину)."
And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it (потом он поднимает картину и роняет ее), and it would come out of the frame (она вылетает из рамы), and he would try to save the glass, and cut himself (он пытается спасти стекло и режется); and then he would spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief (затем он скачет по комнате, ища свой носовой платок; to spring — пружинить; прыгать, скакать). He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off (он не может найти свой носовой платок, потому что он в кармане пиджака, /который/ он снял; to take off), and he did not know where he had put the coat (он не знает, куда положил пиджак), and all the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat (и всему дому приходится перестать искать его инструменты и начать искать пиджак; to leave off — прекращать делать что-либо; бросать привычку); while he would dance round and hinder them (в то время как он /дядя/ пляшет вокруг = по комнате и мешает им; to dance — танцевать; прыгать, скакать).
"Now you go and get me my hammer, Will," he would shout; "and you bring me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder, and I had better have a kitchen-chair, too; and, Jim! you run round to Mr. Goggles, and tell him, `Pa's kind regards, and hopes his leg's better; and will he lend him his spirit-level?' And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light; and when the girl comes back, she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord; and Tom! — where's Tom? — Tom, you come here; I shall want you to hand me up the picture."
And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would come out of the frame, and he would try to save the glass, and cut himself; and then he would spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know where he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat; while he would dance round and hinder them.
"Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is (неужели никто во всем доме не знает, где мой пиджак)? I never came across such a set in all my life (я никогда не встречал таких людей за всю мою жизнь; to come across — /случайно/ встретиться, натолкнуться на; set — набор, комплект; семейство; группа людей /связанных общими интересами, привычками и т.д./) — upon my word I didn't (честное слово, /не встречал/). Six of you! — and you can't find a coat that I put down not five minutes ago (вас шестеро — и вы не можете найти пиджак, который я снял пять минут назад; to put down — класть, опускать)! Well, of all the — (эх, видел я…; of all the — видел я таких…)"
Then he'd get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out (затем он поднимается и обнаруживает, что сидел на нем, и кричит):
"Oh, you can give it up (можете перестать /искать/)! I've found it myself now (я уже нашел его сам). Might just as well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it (/я/ мог бы с таким же успехом попросить кошку найти что-нибудь, чем ожидать, что вы, люди, найдете это)."
And, when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger (и, когда полчаса потратили, перевязывая ему палец; to spend; to tie up — перевязывать, привязывать, связывать), and a new glass had been got (новое/другое стекло достали; to get), and the tools (инструменты), and the ladder (лестницу), and the chair (стул), and the candle had been brought (и свечу принесли; to bring), he would have another go (он делает еще одну попытку), the whole family, including the girl and the charwoman (вся семья, включая горничную и поденщицу; charwoman — поденщица для домашней работы; уборщица), standing round in a semi-circle, ready to help (становится рядом полукругом, готовая помочь). Two people would have to hold the chair (двоим приходится держать стул), and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there (третий помогает ему /дяде/ взобраться на него и поддерживает его), and a fourth would hand him a nail (четвертый подает ему гвоздь), and a fifth would pass him up the hammer (пятый подает ему молоток), and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it (а дядя хватает гвоздь и роняет его).
"Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is? I never came across such a set in all my life — upon my word I didn't. Six of you! — and you can't find a coat that I put down not five minutes ago! Well, of all the — "
Then he'd get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out:
"Oh, you can give it up! I've found it myself now. Might just as well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it."
And, when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger, and a new glass had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been brought, he would have another go, the whole family, including the girl and the charwoman, standing round in a semi-circle, ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there, and a fourth would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass him up the hammer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it.